Fat Girl Shopping

Lots of stores do these coupons... spend $50, get $25 off of $50 at some future point.

I earned one at the local Torrid and today was the last day to use them so J and I went over to look at cute clothes.

Well as cute as plus size clothes get...

So we go to pay and the staff is really apologetic... the internet to the shopping center went down so they were having to process everything by hand and call in for verifications.

I didn't mind waiting and the staff was pleasant.

It wasn't until walking out that I realized what was weird.....

No one cared.

I mean people had to wait a LONG time in line and the staff was very good about apologizing...

But no one got upset...

No one left...

And as I was walking to the car, I turned to J...

"It's 'cause it's the only place we can go.... that's why no one was upset at the line."

And it's true...

I can shop at Lane Bryant, Torrid, some places online, and certain big box stores (if they actually have a plus size section in the store).

That's it.

You see another plus size woman on the street... and you at least recognize one or two things in her ensemble from the store, if not from your own closet.

I've never known anything else....  I remember being so upset as a kid when you didn't go from the large in the children's section to the small in the teen's section (What do you mean they don't start over??).

I in fact once had a freak out when I was seriously losing weight.

Where do you shop once the plus size clothes are too big?

It's too many options....

It's so scary and strange and unknown.

I'm not used to choice... I'm used to feeling like I lucked out 'cause I found *one* thing.

I realized that my wardrobe is starting to fall apart.  I haven't really shopped for clothes since I got my current job after grad school...

January marks my 3 year anniversary of this job.

I'm down to 3 or 4 pairs of jeans that fit...  The ones you barely can get into in the morning but after wearing them all day are a bit too loose in the waist.

Having to replace things seems horribly frightening.  It's so much money (with no coupon jeans are at least $50 a pair) and they're not going to fit... you settle for the ones that are the *closest* to fitting.

The jeans I have now... I at least *know* how they're not going to fit.

That pair is gonna hang off my waist too much... gotta wear a long shirt with them.

That one makes my ass look good.... but I won't be able to breathe comfortably for the first hour I'm in them.

Can't wear those too often.  They're the best fitting ones but the other two just like them died of chub rub and I want to keep those nice for as long as I can.

I also realized, while trying on clothes, just how ill fitting so many of the clothes are.

Yea I'm big... but I have a waist... like an actual waist.  Like the middle of me is significantly smaller than the top or the bottom....

Just 'cause I'm big doesn't mean I'm uniformly big all the way through....

But, you know, I got two cute skirts from last season for cheap and a nightie that I hope to wear to the club some time....

But then I look at the shirt I wear every other week to work.... and dread the day that it finally dies and I have to worry about replacing it.... it took so much good karma to find that one...

It's why I have the same thing in all the colors it came it.... if it fit and looks good, get as many of them as you can....