Don't know how much of this is going to end up in the TMI/female anatomy range... so you've got your warning now...
So I own one dildo... I used to have a 2nd till it started to degrade, but the one I have still is the very first dildo I ever bought.
Well I didn't buy it. My best friend bought it for me for my 21st christmas. We were shopping in the strip club district in Baltimore after getting my first tattoo and she declared that I needed one. In to the store we went, not as wide eyed as the average 21 year olds I hope, but still young. We had characteristics (make sure it's got balls so you could put it in a strap on if needed), but none of them were really about how it would feel for me to use on me.
So we left with a 8" black, doc johnson, veiny dildo in a clear plastic bag (which we made her submissive carry around for the night).
9 years later, that's still pretty much the only insertable I have. Well, I've got 3 butt plugs (including one with a fox tail), but just the one dildo.
I've got rope and clamps and at least 6 different things that vibrate.
But just the one dildo.
That I rarely if ever use.
And it's not like I'm not someone who gets off on penetration. I squirt like a fire house from 2-4 fingers inside of me with not clitoral stimulation.
So why don't I ever masturbate that way?
Well with my own hands, my arms aren't the right length to really get a good fucking. So tonight I got an order to insert something, and I figured, I'll go back to the good 'ol dildo that I've had longer than I've known most of the people reading this.
And it felt good... ok... sort of fine?
It's just not right.
And I think I realize this ever couple of years but I don't do anything about it.
It's too long. It hits places that don't feel fun (at the level of stimulation I easily reach on my own... got someone's fist inside of me and my cervix is ready for a pounding). I guess I was good so I got permission to cum... and as soon as the quasi/sort of orgasm faded, I was immediately sick to my stomach and nauseous. That's probably not good. It's hours later and I still feel a bit out of sorts.
So length... I need something shorter.
Girth? I think it's ok. I don't think it's too big.
Material.... I guess that's the hard (giggle) part. It's not an actual hard penis. It doesn't feel like a hard penis in my hand, my mouth, or my vagina. It's too flexible in certain directions and to firm in others. It's just a copy, a facsimile, of what I really want inside of me.
And maybe I'm holding it wrong... maybe I'm making it rub against the not fun/nausea causing places by grasping the balls of the dildo (turned upwards towards my clit). Maybe that adds some sort of differential pressure on the dildo causing it to rub the wrong way.
And the orgasm... it was just.... it wasn't worth the hassle. It felt good. I was obviously rubbing at least part of the right spot with the dildo....
But then it was gone... there was no release no relaxation no completion...
It's like the undertow just ripped all of the energy out of the wave before it crashed on shore...
You could see that the water arrived on the shore... but there was no impact... no great force with the wave.
Followed shortly by the feeling sick and icky.
And add in some brain weasels that I should probably actually be blogging about but they're not ready to make themselves known.
So instead I talk about sex toys....
I should go shopping sometime soon.....
