Regency Romance Novels

I have always loved regency romance novels.

As a young kid, my favorite books were Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre.  While both considered classic literature, they're romance novels.

I think it's why I've gotten so into Dickens fair.  I want to go to a ball and wear a fancy dress and dance with fine gentlemen.

The particular series I'm reading totally fits with my life these days.  It's about men who weren't supposed to be lords (2nd sons etc) but due to the large number of deaths in the war have become titled lords.  They all know each other based on their wartime service... as spies... and thus have certain ticks that make them interesting.

They all, one by one, need to get married.  They all fall for unconventional women, most of whom have found themselves caught up in some mystery.

And the women are older...

Ok Older for this time period means like 26... but they're all women who believed themselves old spinsters.

So I just need to find a dark, dangerous man, with a past that he hides from others with a mask I can see through.

Oh My God.... That's my type....

Very very interesting....

Numbers on a page

The message came right after lunch.

I was scared to open it but then I decided that waiting would make anything better so I logged into the web interface.

There was an email and the lab results.  I clicked on the email first.

"Both tests are now normal"

I race over to the test results...

.75

I pull up all of the tests I've ever done at this doctor's office (don't you love technology)...

.69

.57

1.54 (H)

.75

Anything other .9 is "normal" or negative.

.9 - 1.1 is margina/retest

Over 1.1 is "high" or positive though many people who have had outbreaks have a results that just says >5.0.

Yup, these are HSVII AB IGG Serum results.....

And mine now say "normal" (whatever that means).

I should be excited, right, jumping up and down...

And all I can think of is "I do this again in 6 month?"

I want to be excited (I think I'm about to get used a lot more than I have been)...

But I'm a pessimist.. I always have been...

In another 6 months, the rug could get pulled out from under my feet again.

So I'll probably not change a whole lot of my behavior, especially with new/unknown partners...

But at least I feel a little bit better....

Needs and Wants

My apologies to regular readers.... this may sound a bit like a broken record... like I'm complaining but still not doing things about what i'm complaining about.

Well I'm still processing what's missing and till that's done, I won't know what to ask for.

I was looking at all of the relationships I've set up recently.  In all of them, by design, I'm not a primary partner and I'm also not high up on the list of importance.  That's not a bad thing.  I care for the people I'm in relationships with (otherwise, why would I be there?), but it's the way things are set up.

I'm a really good non-primary partner: I made friends with metamours, I abide by all rules that are put out, and I'm careful of everyone's feelings...

Well... not everyone's feelings.

I'm the person who wants something and doesn't ask.  I think it's part of the rule following in my nature.  I enter into a relationship, there are rules, and I abide by them.  I was talking about a want (the particular isn't important) and a friend/partner on the east coast said "well, why don't you ask for it?"  I guess I could ask for it, but really, I feel like I don't have that right.  There were rules, I agreed to them, and I see them in my brain as a dark, wide line.  I've never been the person to think of rules as guidelines.  They're black and white... this is ok... this is not ok...

But is it normal to agree to something and then ask for more than what's in the agreement?  Is it rude to ask?  I mean, the rules are out there, everyone agreed to them.... does that mean they're never up for discussion again?  Is it something you can re-ask after an appropriate time has passed?

Or do you leave things the way they are with that relationship and search for an additional relationship to fill those needs/wants.

I think it also highlights that I do one type of relationship well.  It's a running joke, but yes, I'd be glad to fuck your husband once a month/quarter/year and remain your friend and be an ideal partner.  I really enjoy it (I mean totally vetted, amazing sex).

There's no but on the end of that sentence for a reason... it's not a but statement.  There's no but...

There is an *and* statement though...

I really enjoy it AND I'd like to get some more needs met as well.

I think that's the hardest part of still searching... I'm getting so many wants/needs met... I feel kind of guilty for not making due with the amazing stuff I've got going for me....

Sports

Ok...  I know this is not going to be a popular thing...

But I really like sports.

I mean I'm not that crazy person whose entire house is dedicated to a sports team complete with altar...

But I can have an intelligent conversions about all 4 major US sports and several weird Olympic/International ones.

If I've got nothing to do, and I've got access to a TV with cable, I'm either watching the history/discovery/military channel or some sports channel.

Today I had football on while I masturbated.... twice.  It's just what I do... sports are always on.

When looking to find people to share your life with, I'm shocked that nearly all of my male friends/play partners aren't into sports.  I totally get that it's a stereotype, but I've never dated a guy who knew or cared as much about sports as me.

It's one of the things that makes me think about finding a cute vanilla poly boy to settle down and have babies with....

I have no words....

He lived far away, had interesting things to say... and I thought he'd be cool to just chat with.....

awayfromthelies12:38What is your current weight?


12:39Me12:39lol none of your business


12:39awayfromthelies12:39I'll make sure I keep on top of you
12:39whoa


12:39Me12:39Have you heard the phrase, i'm a submissive but i'm not your submissive?


12:39awayfromthelies12:39Oh boy


12:40Me12:40i'd love to chat and get to know you and see if things mesh


12:40awayfromthelies12:40here we go
12:40man if I had a dime


12:40Me12:40but that doesn't mean that you get to start from the beginning like we have an agreement if we don't
12:40lol if i had a dime for the number of "kneel before me, your true master"messages i get


12:40Me12:40I often wonder do girls go to school at the same place to learn those silly typical BS phrases
12:40I never said kneel
12:40It's about manners and respect to me
12:41Not about the games, cyber or taking offense at the smallest things


12:41Me12:41and respect is learned


12:41awayfromthelies12:41Wrong!
12:41yet again the same pathetic school of thought that you don't even know it's common
12:41Respect is given to everyone! The AMOUNT is earned
12:41It's clear you have never been taught or used correctly


12:41Me12:41and it's respectful to ask someone you don't know their weight


12:41awayfromthelies12:41No you're wrong again
12:41The only girls who have issues are the fat ones
12:41It's like age
12:42The only ones with an issue are the old ones
12:42It's a simple question and if you can't answer the simple things you can't be tested or pushed at all
12:42How you learn and how you are taught is meant to be fun and erotic.

And then I blocked him... on everything... everywhere I could...

Yes, I'm leaving his whole username up...

Yes I'll post this where ever I can.

You, Sir, are a Douche....

And this fat submissive gets way more action than you'll ever hope to get.

I wish I cared enough to really have bad feelings for you.. but I don't.... you can just live here on the internet, where all of the other stupid men live....

Yea, I'm not Queer

I'm not....

And that's ok...

I got to go to the Lusty Lady's last day before it closed (tear).  I had a great time.  Chicks are pretty to look at...

But that's about it.

I don't think that this would be anything I'd regularly think about if I didn't live my life the way I do.  I'm kind of painfully heterosexual.

I mean... I don't care what you do... I really don't.... I just don't have any interest in girls.

And apparently that's SHOCKING!

As I roll through the crazy dating world again (OMG so many men are such idiots), the number of times I get asked "So, do you do girls too?" is crazy.

I read a great article that a friend re-blogged recently... and it really got me thinking... am I not into girls 'cause I'm not... or am I not into girls 'cause I so often got approached 'cause, you know, I'm not a real threat to a relationship (or anyone's heterosexuality).

I still think on it... but I really just think it's just me... I'm not into girls... I was never into girls.  I didn't do the college exploration thing... I didn't think hot things about girls....  It's just not me.

And it all makes me feel really uncomfortable.  Not uncomfortable to see two women going at it.  Uncomfortable to be in spaces were it's assumed that I too will engage in said behavior.  I don't go to women's parties.. it's not my thing.  I don't go to women's play spaces.  It's just not my space.  I'm ok with it deep down.. I know it's not for me...

But I get really nervous when people get pushy...

There's a guy I might fuck (that's really all he's good for, I've been told).  He's already on thin ice 'cause I feel like an object.. and not in a fun way.

But his real button pusher is having his gf in the room watching us....

If I had a penis, I think it would go soft every time he asks.  I did the girl thing and said maybe, lol'd in a text, and changed the subject... but it keeps coming back.

Luckily he's not worth anything so if he asks again, I'll say no and if that's not ok, it'll save me the headache of listening to him talk.

But, but back on the market, it's just another thing to wade through along with everything else....

Ok, it's been 26 hours since I took my happy pills... and i'm starting to feel it....