Literary strength

I'm a firm believer that books have totally helped form my personality. My two favorite books are Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre.

I was watching one of the new Jane eyre movies on the plane and I realized I have 2 favorite books of the story. The first is when Mr. Rochester confesses his love ("it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.")  I realized my second is when she leaves him.

For dear readers not familiar with the story, on their wedding day it comes to light that Rochester is married and his wife, who is mad, has been locked in the attic the whole time Jane has been living at Thornfield Hall. Jane sees everything she wants torn from her.

 But Rochester offers it back. He wants to take her to Europe where no one will know she's not his wife. Who would know, he asks.

I would, she replies.

Removing the time period issues (why doesn't he just divorce the crazy wife), what strikes me is Jane's sense of self. She's not willing to be with the man she loves (who's also crazy rich) if it means living a lie and compromising her own self worth in her head.

Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice does the same thing. Mr. Darcy offers to marry her mid way through the book and she declins. He's full of pride and has really been a douche. But marrying him would leave her set for life. She sticks to her no (till he changes his ways and she can see him for who he really is underneath the outer shell).

And it all leaves me thinking... Could I do the same thing?  Could I say no to everything I wanted if it came with a poison pill? Could I say no to my own Mr Rochester if being with him required a personal or emotional sacrifice?

I kind of feel like I did it once. I changed courses. I could have kept in the status quo even though it wasn't right for me....  But that was more tony stark than Edward Rochester.

But I was younger and more idealistic.

Now???

Who knows what I'd do...