Matchmaker Matchmaker.....

If you haven't read, OKCupid changed their messaging system.  Now, your messages doesn't show up unless the guy has already liked your profile.  Otherwise, it shows up only on your profile... you know... if he manages to end up on your profile....

Uhhh....

I don't know lots of guys to go through there liking profiles for fun.

I sent out 10-15 messages one weekend and got no responses.  I don't know if they were read and ignored, or if they were never seen...

So what's a single girl to do?

Well hire a match maker...

Yea.... this is in my head all day now too....

So.....

There's this site Tawkify (not an endorsement.. yet).

I signed up and spent a stupid amount of money for 6 dates...

Well the dates aren't what you're paying for, but the matchmaker.

So I signed up online and then had a pre call.  I talked to an intake woman for 30ish minute last Sunday.  They're trying to get an idea of who you are and what you're looking for and if there's anything crazy that the won't be able to match you.  They've got an 85% success rate but they acknowledge that it's that way because they're picky at this stage. 

After she passed me, my application goes to a screening meeting for my area (meets 3 days a week in the bay area), and with that final approval, I got assigned a matchmaker.

She'll (and mine is a woman) video chat up to 30 guys per date and select one for me to go on a date with.  She'll handle the scheduling of the date and will call us both after to see how it went.  She'll also coach me on what I can do better, take my feedback on what would be better in the guy, and select the next date...

But before all this happens, she and I will have a 1-2 hour video call where she gets to know me and what I want.

All this vulnerability feels like extra therapy sessions.

But dear reader, this is all known...

I'm left with... what do I want.

Some of it is easy... someone I can chat with, babies aren't needed, marriages isn't needed but isn't something I'm horribly against.  SF or SJ are preferred since work and home.  I like my men like big teddy bears.  Taller than me is nice, but at 5'4", not hard.

But..... kink....

How important is the kink (and maybe the poly) part of my life?

Could I date a vanilla guy?

Could I date a vanilla swirl guy (pull my hair during sex)?

I'm kind of asking the universe but I know that the answer is inside me

I really enjoy the ability to connect with people the way I have with M/s.... but maybe there are other ways to connect that would feel ok to me.

I like playing at traditional gender roles... but only playing at them.  I wouldn't that to be real 24/7.

I do like a lot of crazy porn (do you follow my tumblr?).... but maybe that's all it needs to stay at.

I'm sure I'll be writing more on this as my first meeting with the matchmaker happens.