I'm a masochist.
I think that's pretty apparent.
I've done some really fucked up shit and loved it....
My I have this huge fear....
That maybe, on that day that I've scheduled that date....
The masochist won't show up.
The crazy girl who gets beat with a T-ball bat will be replaced by the girl who wants to be held and cuddled and starts sobbing over a bare hand spanking.
With the busy lives we live... sometimes I'm booking play dates months out.
And I'm scared the wrong me will show up for the wrong sadist.
That I won't be what they need for a successful play date..
That I should just suck it up and do it...
I know it's all me... but sometimes it's hard having my mood and abilities swing so far from one side to another....
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