I said no...

... to sex.

I hadn't heard from him since he left Wednesday morning.

I get a text today while I was watching the hockey game. He wanted to come over later (he was out with friends). "Later" meant sex at midnight.

I said I had an early morning and begged off.

I feel like I might need to end this soon. I just reslly don't feel up to casual sex with him.

There are two parts to that: casual and with him.

I get non "Big R" relationship sex from other people (waves to those partners who read this blog), but I get more from them than I do from him. I get companionship and kisses and making out and beatings and bitings....

It's like why keep him around for "ok" sex.... He is more available than the rest.... And maybe I could mold him.....

But is it worth it? Maybe I should just talk to him and see if maybe he's interested in more.... But is that something you ask? Shouldn't I know if he wanted more already?

The fact that have a serious conversation with him seems so odd to me is probably my answer.....